Should we all learn conflict resolution?

This is not a blog on conflict resolution. This is my personal experience.

 Well, today on a call with my manager I learned a very good lesson on conflict resolution. There was another guy from different team who was helping us with an action item.You know how now a days one team has to depend on other to get their work done, same scene.

So this guy was pretty adamant on few things, and said he can not move ahead with our request and have to dump it there. At first, like any other normal person my manager started arguing about the process and the time they have taken to bring this point forward. Then he suddenly in between the call changed his tone and started digging deep into his objections. He was like an interrogator, "Ok, so you feel this is wrong. What would have been in this place?" and started asking such questions. Then later some time he said, "Can you give me your top 3-4 objection points which we can work on to move this thing forward". I was totally amazed by this statement. Its like the best statement I have heard anybody making where both the parties agree that they are right and the other one has to correct themselves.

Then the other person also started to loosen up. He said "no, its not like this, we get our instructions from top and I can not disobey them" and that discussion went ahead. My manager still did not give him any of his answers clearly, but the other guy still agreed to keep working on our item and said he will do the needful changes and share a draft with us for review.

This totally sounded like a win to me. I mean the guy who was arguing and was not ready to budge at all is now ready to share a draft. This is like a huge accomplishment.

Lesson learned here is "If the other person is persistent, you can only break him down by being persistent, logical and calm.". All three at the same time. Try to dig deep into his objections. Try to learn what is the root cause of the objection

Does your age makes you stuborn, or you are born that way?

 Okay, so the title might looks like I am confused. Actually I really am. I am not sure if the age and living alone from past 7 years has made me stubborn or was I like that before.

I too often find it difficult to talk to people who do what they want to do that concerns my life and give me a very sweet good reason for what they are doing. I too often find not speaking some harsh word or loosing my temper in front of people who try to push me and give some pretty reason for doing so.

My confusion originates from a recent incident where I have to come to terms that what ever the other person is doing for me is actually good. Even they went out of the way for it, which I did not like in any manner. But the reasoning they have is, "you will not be able to do this whole week, let me do it for you on this weekend since you are busy". Godammit, I know how to take care of my self and how to do my chores. I don't need your help with it.

why the hell are you showing this mercy to me. I did not ask for it. Keep it for someone else. 

There are other too many issues which I would like to state, but I guess they will change the direction of this post. Keeping it short. I am very angry with such behavior and I condemn it, without my liking I don't want anyone to be helping me out. If I ask for help, help me. Otherwise stay away. I know how to manage my shit. Fuck OFF.