Being sad or angry for no reason

 How many times it has happened that you are ok, and then suddenly at next moment you are angry and without any reason, there is nothing that has happened in your life, or anything that you can think that makes sense. 

Why does this happens? Subconscious, you have thought about something just for a micro/mili second and it has been processed by your subconscious mind and it is not showing its results which are totally not in your hand. what can you do about this issue? Think about only good things? as I said before its not about you thinking about wrong thing, in-fact its not at all in your hand, you can not do anything about it.

Your subconscious keeps throwing thoughts at you and keep processing those thoughts, So basically your life is 80% run by your subconscious and merely 20% by what you are doing consciously. Most of the things that you are doing consciously are driven by your subconscious.

What is the solution? Read something good when you go-to bed and when you wakeup. So, the first thing of the day and the last thing of the day has to be something good, not some gossip, not thinking about what bad your in-laws did to you, what your neighbors are doing to you and how they are lying about small small things. Thinking nothing about that is going to help you. 

I guess the only solution is to train your brain that even subconsciously it should not throw any bad thought at you making you sad or angry.

Dealing with change - Moving out

It felt weird when he asked "when are you vacating". I have been here for nearly 5years and vacating now feels like going away from home. 

I don’t have any such attachment with the place or the home. Its just when someone asks you about that. You feel different. It felt like he woke up something which was long asleep "my sense of home, away from home." 

Now I am going to a new place, how things will be managed? How am I going to adjust? What will be the problems? I have no clue. I don’t know what to think about and also don’t know why to think about it. But this is true, It is bothering me. 

I am not able to go back to sleep since after I answered his question. I replied "This weekend probably". 

I am not able to answer anyone with confidence that I am vacating. I just announced, I might be vacating, but when, I did not tell. Telling everyone the same thing, probably this weekend. Probably this month-end. 

It’s a different feeling, I never thought I had to leave this place this soon. 

 

As they say "change is the only constant in life". Yeah that is true, but cannot I even crib about it? 

This is weird. 

Problem with parents

 I don’t really know what is wrong with parents, specially Indian/Asian parents. Why the can not let their kids grow up? Why is it they always keep talking to them like they are 10 years old? 

I don’t know. I am here just to write out my frustration. They want you to get married soon, I mean I understand the original psychology, but really you want us to get married then at least let us take few decisions. But no, you cant decide  on anything in this world. Not even the clothes you like. It has to be what they like you wearing. You have to follow all that. Once you get married, things change fast, not for good for sure.

They want you to grow, but they don't want you experiment it. They want you to try everything as they have experienced. If you are trying or doing anything else, you are doing something wrong.

Oh god. Its so difficult being a human. specially if you think a lot..

I was just thinking about 2 things today and they are 

1. Think only about the things that are in same room as you. (tackles overthinking)
2. Silence

The first one helps to being present and eradicate all the non-sense overthinking you keep doing.

The second one helps you reduce the problems you create by speaking, reminds me of two beautiful quotes.

Silence is the key to self preservation.

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

who the hell cares, if someone is reading

 I write for myself, consider these as my notes to self. If it help you, you are in luck.

You can not write truly if you care too much about who is reading and what would they thing. Do hell with that, who cares who is reading and what they are thinking. Let them think what ever they want.

I am writing for myself, not for them.

Consistency

Why the hell is it so difficult to be consistent?

Our brains are wired such a way that it finds pleasure in keep running away from committing. That is the reason people before the era of mobile phones and laptops were happy and are still happier and content than others.

Simple way to achieve consistency is to not listen to your brain and work according to the clock. Your body understands the clock but your brain understands the pleasure. Pleasure ruins the body, Clock makes it.

Fix a time wake up and make sure that you  are up by that time, fix a time to sleep and make sure you go-to bed before that. Fix a time for food intake and see the changes within a week. The biggest fun part comes when your brain tries to convince you to not do these things and try to talk you out of this with some silly horse-shit argument. Your job is not listen to those.

Things you can fix up time for:

1. Sleeping
2. waking up
3. getting ready
4. eating food
5. reading
6. walk/workout

I did start the list with Sleeping, your tomorrow starts today.

Try this and see the changes youself.

Your Arrogance or Policing ?

 Sometimes I wonder, am I an arrogant selfish SOB or a narcissist who does not care about others and only think about himself. well I will say the answer is NO for each of the above questions because if I were that then it would be reflected in all the areas of my life.

Actually it does not reflect in any of the area. I am at times rude, I must say that but you also have to think about the reasons for me to be rude. Its not like that I am rude for no reason. If you say you are going to do something and don't do it later on, and on top of that keep cribbing about you not being able to do that.

Oh wait a minute, I think I am taking things too personally. Its not on me that they are not able to do the things, or cribbing about not being able to do it. Everyone deals with their thoughts differently. May be its their way of dealing with it. Why do I have to be the police in such cases? be a civilian who just does as he is told to do. why try being a police?

I think that is a great idea. So, when anyone next time shares with you something they want to do, and later on they come back and say they were not able to do it and crib about it. My advise is to ignore such things, they are just being human. Its your turn to be a good human and give it a listen. Don't try to be the police.